Funny!
The editing is horrible, but I’m too lazy and tired to give a shit, my friends.
Funny
Well, kind of anyway.
This blog hasn’t been around for very long, but in its short history I’ve tried not to mince words. This post will be no different. I believe Barak Obama will defeat John McCain in November. My reasoning is simple. Because he isn’t a nigger. You see, attacks from the Right are fairly predictable… Size up your opponent, identify his strengths, and turn those strengths into weaknesses. Vietnam vets become lying traitors who fake their injuries, Iraq vets become phony soldiers, a Gold Star Mom becomes a Gold Star Cunt. And so on and so on. Digby has become a celebrity documenting this stuff.
What does this have to do with Obama and McCain? One of Obama’s greatest strengths is that, in the minds of the media at least, he transcends race. Based on past behavior, the most likely line of attack from the Right will be some variant on “I know he doesn’t seem like a nigger, but he really is, you know, a nigger”. Many months, and millions of pixels have been wasted on trying to paint Obama as a Sand Nigger. So far, this line of attack has remained primarily on the fringes. I expect it to be mainstreamed at some point, but once it surfaces, it will be quickly rejected by most Americans, even if it is internalized by a scant few in the process. But this week, we’ve seen the first real attempts to paint Obama as an honest-to-goodness, jive-talking, jew-hating, nigger.
But this is the problem for McCain; No matter how you look at it, Barak Obama just doesn’t fit the bill. Or to put it more clearly, John McCain’s right-wing allies will find themselves unable to avoid painting Obama as a nigger. Unfortunately for McCain, it is clear that Obama is far to skilled as a politician to let that label stick without significant help from the Arizona Senator himself. McCain will be forced to chose between the help that he needs to win the election, and his image as an above-the-fray, straight-shooting, , truth-talking, maverick™.
It’s not clear which way McCain is going to go, although there are some indications. In my mind though, it doesn’t much matter. He needs his right-wing allies to give permission to Americans to hate Obama, based on the color of his skin, publicly. Barring that, most Americans will do the right thing, and vote their convictions. And without the public call to hate, the election will be about a young, charismatic gentlemen, facing off against a war-loving, old, ugly, short, angry, boring, though somewhat sympathetic elder statesmen. McCain needs his right-wing allies to bring the hurt to Obama without exposing the lizard brain that drives the Republican party for what it is. The Republican attack machine is a powerful weapon, but the blows it lands are blunt and broad, and not so easy to hide.
Unless something significant changes, I’ll take Passenger 57’s advice and always bet on black.
Rip Van Wrinkle
I know it is a lot to ask a man that wants to be the President of the United States to stay up past 10 o’clock, but it would be nice to think that St. McCain would have some understanding of what actually occurred during Tuesday’s Democratic debate before he started mouthing off about it.
TYLER, Texas (AP) — Republican presidential hopeful John McCain mocked Democrat Barack Obama on Wednesday for saying he would take action as president “if al-Qaeda is forming a base in Iraq.”
…
“I have some news. Al-Qaeda is in Iraq. It’s called ‘al-Qaeda in Iraq,’” McCain said, drawing laughter at Obama’s expense.
Of course anyone who actually saw the debate would know that Obama was responding to a hypothetical scenario laid out NBC’s gasbag-in-chief Tim Russert:
MR. RUSSERT: I want to ask both of you this question, then. If we — if this scenario plays out and the Americans get out in total and al Qaeda resurges and Iraq goes to hell, do you hold the right, in your mind as American president, to re-invade, to go back into Iraq to stabilize it?
And Obama’s answer in part:
Now, I always reserve the right for the president — as commander in chief, I will always reserve the right to make sure that we are looking out for American interests. And if al Qaeda is forming a base in Iraq, then we will have to act in a way that secures the American homeland and our interests abroad. So that is true, I think, not just in Iraq, but that’s true in other places. That’s part of my argument with respect to Pakistan.
Forget the fact that the question was stupid. Forget the fact that McCain was in a Cryogenic chamber while this exchange was taking place. I think we can all agree that the most appropriate response was for Obama to skull-fuck an effigy of Osama Bin Laden while singing, America, Fuck Yeah. The Junior Senator from Illinois clearly has a lot to learn about statesmanship.
A Study in Contrast
What’s the difference between Hillary Clinton and John McCain?
Clinton is in bed with lobbyists. McCain, on the other hand, is in bed with lobbyists.
Seriously though, if you get past all the “Straight Talk” hypocrisy and the vomit-inducing imagery (think Bob “Little Blue Pill” Dole, only more decrepit), the creepiest thing about this story is how Ms Iseman and Mrs. McCain look so much alike.
They both resemble Barbie dolls who’ve spent too much time in Larry Craig’s goodie drawer. I mean, Cindy McCain makes Laura Bush look thoughtful and intelligent for Christ’s sake. Let’s face it, Howard Dean’s wife was kind of a dog, and that probably had a lot more to do with his perceived electability than a lot of people are willing to admit. But when are people going to take a look at the breeding habits of conservatives and what it says about their judgment?
Update: Matt Stoller made a funny.
